My musings posts thus far have been solely focused on my monthly moodboards, and accompanying those with thoughts that are topical for me - what’s coming up now, what’s coming up as I create a vision for what I want for the month ahead.
I created May’s in the middle of experiencing May. Do you ever add something to your to-do list that you’ve already done just so you can feel good when you cross it off? This month, my moodboard was mostly a pat on the back for myself for what I have done - appreciated the spring flowers, got back into the pool, kept up my yoga practice, spent time with friends, ate yummy (& nutritious food). It felt good to look back at the middle-ish of the month and see the goodness in what May has been so far.
Over the month of April, a friend and I took an ‘Intro to Sewing’ class with Tigerowl. We both loved the brain break from our daily routines and creative jobs and the opportunity to create something new with our hands. Also, Summer at Tigerowl is an expert and is a wonderful, and patient, teacher!
In my earlier moodboards I included imagery of painting, creating with materials versus digitally. This has shown up in sewing as well as a fun painting project Walt and I have taken on for colorful, fun bucket gardens in our backyard. I’ve always loved creating with my hands but haven’t made the time for it lately as life and work is always so busy. I’ve enjoyed both projects, as they remind me of my childhood and my parents, where I’ve witnessed my creative talents come from.
Last night, my friend and I joined in on one of Tigerowl’s open studio sessions, keeping our new sewing knowledge fresh. In the open studio sessions, you bring anything you’d like to work on, sewing related, and Summer will help you with any questions you have - and you get to use her machines! I do have a sewing machine at home, but her studio creates great energy and has all the space to lay out your fabric so it’s much easier to get into the groove of a project.
Taking the intro class and this open studio session has been such a joy - creating, relaxing, and getting to spend time with a good friend. Now, this friend is super special - she’s a great listener and incredibly genuine in response and empathy. After I caught her up on all things health and work, she commented that I’ve been in this waiting period for so long. I had been feeling this way for a while and while I’d talked about it with others, I truly felt like she saw the hill I’ve been climbing.
Without going too much into detail, I’ve been putting in work in regards to discovering what’s going on with my health and putting in work to find a new creative role that better aligns with my values and goals. I’ve been dismissed on too many occasions and I’m tired. As a problem solver, I can’t seem to solve these problems - and it’s incredibly frustrating. *See somewhere in previous posts where I probably also talk about how I am impatient ;)
I know my challenges look different, and you better believe I am extremely grateful for what I have and where I’ve been. However, that shouldn’t have any impact on what I want for myself and how I want to feel. I know that I am not alone, but I feel lonely.
Creating this moodboard for May and stepping outside of my feelings to appreciate where I’ve been and what I’ve seen this month so far was hard. For now, I will still try to remind myself that it is about the journey. There are beautiful moments and opportunities out there - and as I am pulling in this month - what is meant for you will always find you (you might just have to cry a little and learn how to be patient).
*Special thanks goes to my mom and Walt who listen to me cry!
All images were snagged from Pinterest, therefore I do not take credit for any original thought surrounding them individually. They will not be used to make any profit on.
