creativity, confidence, and power

One of the things I have loved about creating these mood boards each month is it has reaffirmed the values that I hold close - and the things that I need on a daily/monthly basis to feel most at peace and that I am still moving forward. 

If you’ve been following along, or atleast have scrolled through to see each month, you’ll notice a few recurring images. I have quotes that resonate with me, images that focus on work or creating with my hands, images with friends or my partner, walk shadow selfies, and in-studio yoga photos. There are also a few food images thrown in here and there and travel or seasonal activities.

As I write this today, April 16 - it is a memorial day for me, the day my dad passed away 6 years ago. On days like today, I reflect on what has helped me make it this far and there’s one thing in particular that stands out - yoga. 

I’ve been practicing yoga since I moved to Irvine - maybe even before - but my memories start at Corepower off Jamboree. I could easily walk across the street from my apartment at the time for a break and a good workout. Then, I really saw it as a great way to stay in shape and feel strong. Since then, it has changed into something that has held me through tough days and lifted me higher on great days.

As we all do, I sometimes slip, but I aim to make it to a yoga class 4-6 times a week. I am privileged to have freedom and boundaries within my work schedule to make it to classes at various times throughout the day.

As a person in a creative role and career, it allows my brain a break to stop and think, recharge, and find new solutions to the problems I am solving.

As a person who is very sensitive, it allows me the space to pause, reflect, and take deep breaths.

As a person who is in various stages of grief, it allows me a space to connect back with myself and feel like I have that space to honor my dad, my grandma, even those who are still here with me.

As a person who wants to feel strong, it empowers my physical and mental self to keep building my power.

Since my beginnings at Corepower, what yoga means to me has evolved, and as you can see through my moodboards, it is something I consider to be a mainstay in my life. I see and feel how my yoga practice has changed me throughout the years, and helped in my grieving process and with daily anxiety.

I love setting the intention at the beginning of each practice, often I find words to repeat to myself or focus on visualizations. The past few weeks I have been repeating ‘Creativity, Confidence, and Power’ as my intention - words I needed to remind myself to embody and project. Today, in my gentle flow class, I visualized my dad in class next to me - recalling his love for boot camp style classes and envisioning how he might look over and wink at me in savasana.  

I am so thankful to have an incredible studio here in Ventura, Grassroots Yoga, who offer various types of classes that fit in with what I need on an ever-changing basis. Some days are power flow days, while others I really just need a gentle flow class.

I could probably talk about yoga for much too long, but it is something I will always encourage everyone to look for and try. If holding space for intentions or visualizations doesn’t resonate with you, look at it as a way to keep your body flexible and strong. I think you’ll be surprised at the effects that follow.

All images were snagged from Pinterest, therefore I do not take credit for any original thought surrounding them individually. They will not be used to make any profit on.

it really is about the journey

The obligatory “How are we one third through March 2024 already?”. But truly, where has the time gone? As you can see I am a little behind on my vision board for March - but creating it made me really think about the things I want to strive for, the things I want in my life, that might be different from February, different from January.

My general outlook on what I want in life hasn’t changed much, and it’s not just this year. I’ve known what I’ve wanted for a long time, and I work every day towards those larger goals and dreams. I’ve often been reminded how I am a ‘woman who knows what she wants’ and I take that as a badge of honor, a badge that can, at times, hold a lot of weight.

To some, it may seem like a relief to know what you want in a world where we are presented with countless opportunities, in all spaces of life. For me, while it has been a great guiding light, it comes with impatience and frustration at times when I grapple with knowing what I want but not always how to get there or why I don’t have it yet. My mom is great at reminding me that I have no patience - but I am getting better!

One thing I’ve really learned in the last few years, thanks to personal growth and my personal relationships, is that knowing what you want is only half (or even less?) of the way we move through life. I come back to that cheesy line about life being about the journey, not the destination, and I believe it. If I had gotten everything I wanted when I knew I wanted it, who would I be? Certainly not who I am today, and I love her.

To anyone else who knows what they want but hasn't gotten there yet, try to remember that part of being alive is living, discovering, exploring, falling down and getting back up - and those are beautiful things. Take your time, go for what you want, and eventually you’ll get there, but make sure you’re having fun along the way. Driving too fast and hard towards your destination may make you keep your head down for too long and you might miss all the flowers and the sunshine out the window.

For March, I am going to let my mind rest (and hopefully rejuvenate) while I take a vacation. Hoping to hit April with a sense of renewal, freshness, and joy in my journey while keeping one eye on my destination - ha!

All images were snagged from Pinterest, therefore I do not take credit for any original thought surrounding them individually. They will not be used to make any profit on.

gathering the good

It’s time for my February vision board! I am proud of myself for getting to the second one of these for the year - sometimes, as we all know, we start with an idea and well, it just trails off and we don’t always follow through. I think that’s okay, maybe it wasn’t the right time for that idea - life's too short to beat yourself up about it. But hey, this is a small win for me and I am going to celebrate it - February here we (continue to) come!

Looking back on January, I had high expectations for myself. The time from Thanksgiving to Christmas felt like a mountain, with challenges and wins I didn’t expect. I pushed myself hard in a number of areas for my personal work and stressed immensely about my full time job shifting and changing.

My first day off for a Christmas vacation - sick. I was lucky enough to feel mildly okay after the first 3 days and had time to spend with my family. I thought surely by New Years I’d feel 100% - I was ready to hit the ground running and go back to pushing myself towards my big goals again. Guess what? Sick. For 4+ weeks I had a cough that moved/bruised a rib and I am still recovering.

Movement is one of the things that keeps me going everyday and proved to be the hardest hit to my mental health during that time.

My expectations of myself had to fall away and I was forced to rest. It was difficult, and it still is a challenge for me to accept I’m not exactly where I thought I would be in 2024.

However, as I look at my January vision board, reflecting on what I could accomplish, I see my wins. I meditated for 140 minutes while working on incorporating it into a daily routine. I continued my yoga practice, kept up my daily walks during the work week, and made it into the gym on numerous occasions.

I finished 4 books!* My goal each year is to read (or complete) 15 books, and I am well on my way! I’ve established an almost daily reading schedule of a design or educational book in the morning before work and a fiction, easy-read at night before bed.

Walt and I went camping with a few friends - spent time out in nature and found awesome tidepools. We cooked delicious soups and spent time together learning new games like Lost Cities and Backgammon.

It’s so easy to feel down about the things you haven’t accomplished - and I know that’s one of the ways I am hardest on myself. Time to stop and take a look at the good that you’ve got going on in your life - even when you’re comparing yourself to friends or random people on the internet. We’re not all made for everything, so gather up your good and all the things you love and carry it with you. It’s something I am working on, too. 

Looking forward to February, I hope to continue all of these things plus adding in creating with my hands, standing up for myself at work, connecting with other design professionals, being confident in my skills, loving myself more, and keeping my head up for all the good things that are coming. I look forward to learning more about myself and appreciating my people that hold me up every day.

*The books were “All the Light We Cannot See,” “Lessons in Chemistry,” “Creative Quest,” and “101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think.” I recommend the first 3! I am currently reading “Start with Why” and about to start “The Only One Left.”

All images were snagged from Pinterest, therefore I do not take credit for any original thought surrounding them individually. They will also not be used to make any profit on.

February 2024 vision board

manifestation + vision

I have been creating my own vision boards and mood boards for a few years now - mostly as a way to visually show my goals for the year versus writing them out. As you can gain from my career choice, I am very much a visual learner!

For my (my goal is daily) walks, I choose different podcasts to listen to - mostly career, personal growth, or design related. I’m sure most people do this - so maybe an audiobook or a fun playlist for you. This past week, as I am trying to manifest big things in 2024, I searched ‘manifestation’ for my walk and stumbled upon Mel Robbins “How to Manifest Anything You Want: 4 Simple Steps Backed by Neuroscience & Olympic Athletes.”

In one of the 4 steps she comments on how people have been doing vision boards wrong. If you’re pasting on your end goal, say a big beach house, you’ll have a harder time reaching that big goal without showing the steps it will take you to get there. It’s very similar to goal-setting, and in my career space, creating and shipping in phases! If you don’t outline the smaller goals to get to the bigger goal, that end goal can be much more intimidating and can seem like it’ll take years to achieve. I’ve heard this many times, but this time it resonated differently. I thought it would be fun, and maybe more efficient, to break my vision boards down by month - into smaller steps - to create a larger image of what I want for 2024.

First, I wrote down what I wanted for the year, and then what that might look like for the month of January. I made sure everything seemed realistic and attainable, even if some ideas felt a little out of my comfort zone. Don’t they say, “life doesn’t happen in your comfort zone?” or something like that.

So, here’s my January vision board!
All images were snagged from Pinterest, therefore I do not take credit for any original thought surrounding them individually. They will also not be used to make any profit on.

more and less in 2024

I love seeing people post their ‘ins’ and ‘outs’ for the year ahead. Some are much more holistic, where others are dramatic and hilarious, I enjoy both. Jumping off the idea of New Year's Resolutions, it seems like a quick way to outline what you do and do not want in your life for the upcoming year - which is important!

I started creating my own lists, with no real intention to share, and thought it could be fun to do a work edition and a personal edition and share it here. I saw a few posts using ‘more’ and ‘less’ which I prefer. ‘Ins’ and ‘outs’ are black and white to me, and with the reality of things being in many shades of gray, the words ‘more’ and ‘less’ resonated more. It also feels like an easier transition to adding and removing these things and ideas from our lives. Like, I wish my poor posture would be gone starting tomorrow, but that may not be such an easy feat! Now, these lists are not all-encompassing but serve as larger focus points.

Let’s start with my work edition. I know you may look at these and wish me good freaking luck, but hey this is a start and I believe in moving forward, not letting things be because “that’s how they’ve always been.” Work - freelance and full-time - and I are in a tough spot right now, as I navigate through challenges and feel tested in different interactions. I love change, I love mixing things up, and in pushing for those things at work, I aim to see work become a place I can thrive and want to be - not just for me, but where everyone is cool to contribute and grow. There will always be a back and forth in a corporate environment, but I still aim for change and evolution. I am starting with my ‘more’ and ‘less’ and hoping that can help me identify more clearly where the things I want less show up and how I can change them.

More

True team environment

Leveling up communication skills

Holding boundaries

Holding companies to sustainability initiatives

Learning and adapting to others with different work styles

Taking ownership of your work - and not letting others steal your shine!

Giving team members a chance, believing in/uplifting new candidates

Pay equity!

Continuous learning of new skills

Humane/kind email and chat conversations - think of your tone, exclamations and ‘hello’ are okay!

Holding people accountable

Self-awareness

Less

Passive aggressive comments

Drawn out meetings

Silo’d leadership - get in touch with your employees!

Disrespectful interview processes

Trying to always be the ‘expert’

Outdated benefits policies

Ghosting meetings without notification

You can probably tell from my ‘more’ and ‘less’ where my pain points are with work. If I can make any change as an individual contributor to make others' lives more enjoyable at work, and create a livable balance with what I’d like to see more of, I’ll be happy!

Now, for my own personal ‘more’ and ‘less’

More

Reading fiction

Meditation and acupuncture

Committing to my daily walk

Chocolate (always more)

Homemade food and pantry items

Color!

Fun hair accessories

Strength

Creating with my hands

Self-awareness

Sleep and intentional rest

Manifestation backed by neuroscience

Slowing down

Loving my body

Warm sun on my face

Trees

Less

Mindless purchasing

Energy drainers

Snoring

Neutrals

Focusing on other people’s behavior

Just going with the flow - I mean this to be less ‘not making better decisions that align with me’, probably more like ‘less people pleasing and more having an opinion’

Endless scrolling

Imposter syndrome - the feeling and the word - less of it!

Bad posture

I feel like I have a lot to say to wrap up what I am thinking, so I’ll go for it and hope it’s not jumbled.

In 2024, I am leaning into loving all parts of me more and the things that make me different and I hope you do that too. There may be things you want to change, and that’s okay - but how do we think about that in a positive way, rather than focusing on the negatives the way our society has groomed us to think? Yea, there are a lot of funny things that come out of commenting about the negative, but they can root further down and drain us.

I think there’s a Selena Gomez song that says “When it comes to me, I wouldn’t wanna be anybody else.” We’re our own unique self for a good reason, and bringing that into the workplace, or thriving in that in our everyday lives should be celebrated! Living as who we really are allows us to find and thrive in jobs, relationships, etc. that truly serve us and satisfy our own personal wants and needs.

I’d love to know if any of my ‘more’ or ‘less’ resonate with you, and if you have any others you’d add or remove for yourself.

yay, for failure?

I think about failure fairly often, not in a “Oh wow, I’m a failure” sense, but more so what it means to me to fail. It sounds sad, but it truly is a check-in on where I feel I am on my path to achieving my goals. As a society and in my experiences working for companies, failure is often looked at as scary and shameful. Failures are not communicated to others, which is a failure in itself. It seems to me that many people don’t chase an idea because there is that chance they will fail, or they’ll be wrong. Can we change this narrative? Can we make it feel like less of a big deal after someone makes a choice that leads to ‘failure’?

Along with many others (see the explosion of the ‘walking pad’), I am trying to get in a walk each day even if it’s only for 10 minutes. I’ve been mildly succeeding - I want to walk outside, not at my desk, and it can be tough to make that time! On the days I have been able to get outside for a walk, I’ve been listening to the podcast Design Better. I’ve been hungry for more design thinking and design talk and this podcast has been able to fulfill some of that hunger. One of the episodes was a chat with David Kelley, the founder of IDEO. If you’re into design, you may have heard this quote from him before, but if you’re not, I’ll enlighten you - “Fail faster to succeed sooner.”

Now, I’ll be honest - I don’t retain a lot of the information from podcasts - mostly because I am a visual learner. That may explain my career choice, eh? Also, I live in a neighborhood where most people have beautiful plants that I pass and become distracted with - often.

Anyways, “Fail faster to succeed sooner.”. You can really look at this from so many perspectives, but I am going to start with where I’ve seen failure as a whole in my life. I asked my mom the other day (hi mom!) what her memory was of my first experience with failure. She reminded me of a time in first grade where I got in trouble for talking in class. In my defense, it was the first class I got to have with my best friend (who I’ve known since I was two years old). The next day, unrelated to my disruptive behavior, I was moved to another classroom. I promised never to talk again if I could just go back to the class with my best friend. She said I kept saying, “I’ll be good! Please don’t make me.” Now, I don’t have this as a core memory, thank goodness, but school was always a serious place for me. I paid attention in class, I did all my work, I did not talk while the teacher was talking - all things ‘good.’ Easy to see a possible connection from what I perceived as a failure to my behaviors that have continued since.

I remember failure in many different ways - failed relationship attempts with boys who didn’t like me back, failed attempts at tumbling passes in cheerleading, failure to diagnose mysterious health questions etc. The one that has stuck out the most to me, looking at my early years, was the only B grade I received in school. Damn you, AP United States History class. That failure had the biggest impact on me, and my self worth for a while. To this day, I am still annoyed by it.

But, hey - I got into a great college in California. I kept moving forward, and in many ways I succeeded. 

Since then, I almost failed a course during study abroad (yikes), I started a blog and stopped posting, I started a small business that didn’t go where I intended it to, I had other failed attempts at relationships and I have been unhappy with my progress at different stages in my career - wondering why I couldn’t do something or make what I wanted, happen.

Where has failure led me? In hindsight, I’d say some pretty awesome places with wonderful people. Without thinking twice a few years ago, I started a jogging community, Ventura Joggers Club. Will it succeed? In many ways it has, but I can’t predict the future. I’ve learned to leap often, knowing I’ll find my way like I have many times before. Failure has allowed me to be more comfortable with mistakes, knowing that sometimes those mistakes lead to something better, or something more suited to me or the business/organization.

Now, I’d like to think I am providing a bit more than a ramble, but that’s why I am calling this corner of the internet on my website, ‘musings.’ I hope you’re still with me, and have had some cool thoughts about your own failures running through your head. We’ll see if I can wrap this up with the many thoughts running through my own head.

Returning to my initial point where I was inspired by David Kelley’s quote - where can we bring this human energy of failure into society, into our places of work? Where can we encourage ourselves to create more ideas that don’t work to find the ones that will? Where can we fail, more specifically as designers, that will create even better ideas - or atleast give us the ideas to go after, fail fast so we can succeed sooner?

What’s a failure of yours that has shown you something better? Can we all give others more grace to fail (within boundaries that don’t hurt others) in hopes that we can find more successful ideas to make our world a better place?

the beginning

A musing is defined as ‘a period of reflection or thought.’ Here you’ll find unfinished thoughts, stories, a look at what happens when I am working on a project, and maybe a few random things that will make you smile, think, or laugh - my musings. More to come soon…